Ah~. Zo, thiz one iz for CG~. Um, theze are available on requezt, too, zo pleaze let me know if you are interezted~! CC, THAT MEANZ YOU~! :D

Juzt drop me a mezzage, lol~! Alzo, outzide opinionz are alwayz welcome, zo you know how to reach me, everyone~! :D

I have a really zhitty erazer fuck fuck fuck~~~…

Hehehehehehe~!

Zo, look at thiz douche bag~! :D

No, he’z not really a douche bag~. He’z just a dork~. TG hooked me up with thiz picture zhe znapped when he apparently wazn’t looking~.

Zo, I waz feeling kind of upzet yezterday, and I decided that it waz time that I wrote zomething~! Zo here iz the ztart of zome awezome zuper fun fanfictionz I hope to finizh zoon~! :D

Pleaze enjoy and alzo remember that there are errorz~. I juzt kind of pazted it~. Lol~!


Cariot waz zitting by himzelf in hiz zuper clean, zpotlezz rezpite block being zeriouz and boring and alzo zeriouzly boring, probably reading a troll weztern novel and thinking about thingz that were alzo zeriouz and boring juzt like him~.

Zuddenly, hiz hubtop buzzed at him and he looked up in an annoyed way and he waz zeriouzly annoyed. Chariot ztopped thinking about whatever boring lame ztuff he waz thinking about at the time and got up to anzwer the mezzage~.

It waz Luizon, who Cariot really liked to talk to becauze they were practically zoul-matez and Luizon waz pretty much juzt az zeriouz az he waz, but with more expletivez and occazionally liked to have fun even though he waz alwayz zuper angry inztead of being zcary and ridiculouzly boring, but that waz actually kind of endearing. Luizon and Chariot they both zhould totally have gotten into a quadrant already but it waz okay becauze they weren’t fooling anyone, even though they thought they were clever~. Everyone knew anyway~. Everyone~.

Luizon’z mezzage waz really, really zhort~. It waz zo zhort it waz almozt too zhort to be a real mezzage and Cariot waz excited at how zhort and concize the mezzage waz becauze he really liked it when thingz were to the point and had no background information or anything interezting in them at all~. If he wanted anything to ztand out, he would probably juzt paint the zubject black and everything elze white and give it a zuper zpecific name juzt to make zure it waz az lifelezz and boring az it could pozzibly be~. Kind of like him~.

—clamorouzGripe began trolling GT—

[CG] i am on my fucking way

And there were fancy bracketz and zhit, but thoze are kind of ridiculouz and ztupid~.

Cariot waz zuddenly really happy except he wazn’t becauze happinezz waz not an emotion he waz actually able to feel. It waz more like feeling the leazt amount of dizappointment pozzible in any given zituation. That would be what Chariot felt when he waz ‘happy’~. Or excited~. Or anything that wazn’t boring or zeriouz~.

He looked around hiz room to zee if there waz anything he could clean up but he’d already cleaned everything obzezzively~. Zo inztead, left hiz rezpite block to wait for Luizon in a room clozer to the entrance of hiz zoon-to-be-not-zo-zuper-boring hive~. Hee hee hee~.

Juzt az he finizhed zeriouzly inzpecting the interior nothingnezz of hiz hive, there waz a knock at hiz hive entrance. He knew it would take longer than that for Luizon to arrive, zo he waz actually kind of zeriouzly zurprized, really~. He walked over to zee who it waz, when he noticed the huge, zhadowy figure hovering outzide~.

It waz an Imperial Drone~! It muzt have the wrong hive, though, he thought~. There waz no way it could be here for zeriouz~. It wazn’t even actually time for that yet~! He hezitated only for a zecond becauze Cariot waz juzt that kind of a troll~. He waz zeriouz buzinezz all the time and he waz zure he could handle a lozt drone like in hiz dumb zecretly read wezternz that everyone knew about but thought they were zhitty except for TA zhe thought they were kind of cool but needed more romance~.

He opened the entrance to hiz dwelling and got a claw full of bucket to the face~! The force waz zo ztrong it knocked him on to hiz zeriouzly dumb butt~. Cariot looked up in mild zurprize az the drone zhoved itz way into the hive and zcreeched loudly ztomping itz feet impatiently~.

“Imperial Drone. You have the wr-” Cariot ztarted to zay in a zeriouz voice~. Zo bazically hiz regular voice~. He waz alwayz zeriouz and ztupid and thought that anytime zomeone maybe made the tiniezt miztake and told zomeone zomething on accident that they were dumb and couldn’t do anything by themzelvez anymore and needed CG az a babyzitter but that wazn’t enough becauze they had to be reminded about it conztantly too and alzo told on a regular baziz not to do it again~. Cariot waz zeriouzly an idiot~.

He’z ZO ZTUPID ZOMETIMEZ~!

I abzolutely HATE IT when he thinkz he can juzt tell me what to do~!

Juzt becauze I’m lower on the hemozpectrum than he iz doezn’t mean I am ZTUPID~. 

Zo, what if we were zea-dwellerz living in an alternate univerze, meeting each other for the firzt time and we alzo had wingz~~~~~!!!!??

Wouldn’t that be zoooooo coool~? Oh my gozh, I think it would juzt be the bezt thing ever~.

Zomehow, I don’t think CG would really like it that much, though, lol~.

My wingz are juzt fluffy thingz I mezzed around with~. Nothing zpecific~.

I think hiz wingz would be more like a great grey-heron’z wingz~. They’re almost a greenizh-grey and very pretty~.

Haha, zo, I got a bit carried away, maybe~.

I don’t really think zo, though~. Do you~?

I juzt kind of like to draw hiz face zometimez, I guezz, lol~. It’z really fun to draw~.

He’z got a really nice face~~~…

“If you’d juzt hold ztill, I’d already be done, you ztupid fuck~!”

“Zeriouzly, what are you even uzing to clean thiz~?”

“Oh my GOD~~~!!! How long haz it been zince you’ve changed theze~~!?”

“No wonder thiz izn’t healing~! You’ve been zcratching at it and picking at the bandagez, haven’t you~?”

“And you call ME the wriggler~! Juzt keep your handz away from here~! Gozh~!”

“Not your damn luzuz~? Well, I might az fucking well be~!”

“No, I’m not enjoying thiz~! Why would I be enjoying thiz~~!? There iz abzolutely nothing here to be enjoyed~.”

Hee hee~! Well, maybe I could think of one thing that would be enjoyable about that zituation~. But no, really~. Telling him where my hive iz azide, if he’d juzt let me look at it, I’m zure I could probably fix it up real quickly~.